19 June 2012

14 tips for Helping Children with Emotional Intelligence

14 tips for Helping Children with Emotional Intelligence

Our emotional intelligence is the ability to understand our own feelings and the feelings of others so we can get along with other people. Experts have found that our emotional intelligence is the biggest predictor of life happiness. If we want to help our children develop emotional intelligence we need to help them name their feelings then to guide them through the how to find an effective solution.

Children with higher emotional intelligence are more likely to be sociable, cooperative, optimistic and able to solve problems. They tend to be better-behaved, less impulsive, and have a higher academic performance. They are happier, have more friends and are more likely to be successful in life. So there is a big impact on what we do as parents.

So what can we do to help our children develop emotional intelligence?

1. Accept our children’s emotions and emotional responses

‘That must have been really frustrating’ ‘Wow, you are showing me how angry you feel’ ‘That’s great, I can tell how excited you are’ ‘it can be tough when friends let you down like that.’ ‘You look pretty upset. Something must have happened,’

2. Help them label their emotions.

‘You sound upset’, ‘you look really down’, ‘I’m guessing you’re feeling really sad about that’ ‘You’re looking a bit worried’. I imagine you must be feeling….’ ‘That must have hurt’

3. Encourage children to talk about their feelings

‘Hey, you sound really fed up about that. Do you want to talk about it? ‘How did that make you feel?

4. Help them to recognise cues as to how other people may be feeling

‘How do you think that made him feel?’ ‘What do you think was going on for her?’ ‘How would you feel if that happened to you?’

5. Help children be aware when their tension is building and what creates stress for them.

‘Are you finding this stressful?’ ‘There seems to be a lot going on for you at the moment –are you feeling tense?’ ‘I can see from the way you are clenching your jaw that you are feeling angry’

6. Teach them how to calm themselves down.

‘Do you think a bit of time to calm down would help?’ ‘Would it help if you took some deep breaths?’ “When that happens again could you say to yourself: ‘I can stay calm’ ‘Everyone makes mistakes’ or ‘It was an accident’” ‘Shall we sit down later when you’ve had a chance to cool off and have a chat about it?

7. Teach children alternative ways of expressing their frustrations

‘How could you explain how you feel using your words rather than hitting?’ ‘Can you think of a different way to let him know how angry you are?’ ‘I don’t like feeling blamed. If you want something you will need to tell me in another way’. ‘Could tell your friend how that made you feel?’ ‘What do you think you will do next time you feel like that?’

8. Teach them how to problem solve

‘Shall we write down a whole list of things that could help, and then you could choose which you want to try first’ ‘What do you think would happen if you did that?’ ‘How do you think he’d respond to that?’

9. Teach children positive self-talk

“When you are feeling like that what could you say? : ‘I can handle this’ ‘I can do it’ ‘I just need to do my best’ ‘every day I am getting better and better’ ‘I deserve to be happy’ ‘I love a challenge’ ‘This is going to need my best effort’”

10. Recognise what motivates them to perform at their best

‘What do you think you could say at the start of the day that would help you feel more positive?’ ‘I’ve noticed that when things get difficult you just keep trying’ ‘I can see that once you have a goal, you don’t give up until you’ve reached it’ ‘You said you would do it….and you did’ ‘I like the way you have planned everything you need to revise for your exam’

11. Teach children to listen and talk in ways that enables them to resolve conflicts and negotiate win-win solutions

‘How can we sort this out so that we are both happy?’ ‘What do you think she wants?’

‘What would be a good solution so you can both get what you need?’ ‘How could you explain that in a way she could hear?’ ‘I like it when you use ‘I messages’ rather than blaming me’

12. Comment when our children show self-control

‘You handled yourself really well just now’ ‘I like the way you stayed calm when he was raising his voice -That showed a lot of self-control’ ‘I was impressed with the way you used your words and kept your hands to yourself!’ ‘you really stayed calm when you were doing that puzzle, even when you couldn’t find the right piece –you just kept on trying –that was impressive’

13. Talk about our own feelings

‘I’m feeling really fed up about all the mess around the house’ ‘I feel so frustrated when I start to say something and you interrupt’ ‘I get really worried when you don’t come home from school at the normal time’ ‘I love it when I come home to a tidy kitchen.’ ‘I’m feeling a bit low…I think I’ll organise a night out with my friends’

14. Model how to remain calm and in control when we are angry

‘I’ve had a rough day at work – can we talk about this later when I’ve had a chance to cool off?’ ‘I don’t like the way you’re talking, and I’m not prepared to sit here and listen to comments like that’. ‘Hey, there’s something I’d like to talk about, is now a good time to talk?’ ‘I can feel myself getting angry; maybe we’d better go home’

What do you do to help your child develop the ability to understand their feelings or those of others and help them get on with other people?

Inspired from the valuable source sixseconds

10 May 2012

I wonder !!!

I wonder why we are that far from being involved in contemporary approaches of teaching !!!
I wonder why we are not able to provide new surveys of knowledge for our students !!!
I wonder why we keep a distance from every new aspect of challenge !!!
I wonder why we are stick to boring traditional methods !!!
Is it because we are scared of trying something new ???
Is it because we are not competitive enough ???
Is it because we really don't care ???
Is it because we've no goals ???
Is it because of "WE"???

Let us think about it.


6 May 2012

Copyright 2007 by Jackie Baldwin and Kathryn Eike Dudding. All Rights Reserved Modified date: 4/1/2012

This logo explicitly describes the interrelationship rooted between"Storytelling" as an instructional method and teaching major subjects in schools; and it manifests the centrality of being a main contributor of character building.
It is not an easy task to be a good story teller. A wise teacher should be aware of the useful advantages of such teaching tool. It is an art, a professional art, that embodies and conceals a high sense of responsibility towards growing individuals. He/she should be skillful enough to master the appropriate voice, tone, facial expressions, gestures and imagination. By encountering these skills, a teacher is capable of addressing both the heart and the mind of students and consequently approaching the academic purpose.

30 April 2012

The Art of Happiness

Among the greatest blessings is to have a calm, stable, and happy heart. For in Happiness the mind is clear, enabling one to be a productive person. It has been said that happiness is an art that need to be learned. The basic principle of achieving happiness is having the ability of enduring and coping with any situation. Therefore we should not be governed by difficulties and we should train ourselves to be patient and forbearing. Being a self-centred person, keeps away from flavouring the sweetness of happiness, while thinking of one's self as a part of the whole universe makes life more coherent and
“Every person is capable of performing his daily tasks, no matter how difficult they are, and every person is capable of living happily during his day until the sun sets and this is the meaning of life.” Robert Louis Stevenson

Do not mimic the personality of others

Every person has his own set of talents, abilities, skills, and preferences. And that is what makes a unique and special personality. Trying to benefit from experiences or knowledge of others is a required issue, but trying to imitate them is a disastrous behaviour. Moreover, to melt into the personality of another, for whatever reason, is akin to suicide. It is eventually the problem of some people that they do not strive to achieve progress, rather they would choose the easy way of being pretentious. That kind of people lacks the will and the competency to overcome laziness and low self-esteem. As educators, we should be aware of developing and improving our own abilities, talents, and skills in order to be constructive and reflective. This process of development must accompany an establishment of an independent, creative, and unique methodology. As a matter of fact, we should be aware of delivering this conception to our children at home or school.  It is the active way of living that we should encounter.

29 April 2012

Webinar Post

I was looking forward to attending a webinar about "Creating a Culture of Responsibility", the issue is really interesting to know about and realising the required techniques is considerably concerning. Unfortunately, the Internet connection was very slow to attend the webinar, I wasn't lucky. Today, I have received few posts about recent webinars, it's my pleasure to share one of them with my dear bloggers.

What does it mean to thrive, flourish, and be happy?

Guiding Principles:

  • Appropriate behaviour
  • Respect for all
  • Shared resources and materials
  • Cooperative and collaborative procedures
  • Careful listening
  • Celebration of positivity
  • Focusing on the process, not the out come

Happiest People:

  • Devote a great amount of time to family and friends
  • Are comfortable and expressing gratitude
  • Are often the first to lend a helping hand
  • Savior life's pleasures and try to live in the present moment
  • Physical exercise is a weekly or daily exercise
  • Deeply involved in lifelong goals and ambitions
  • Practise optimism
  • Have the coping mechanisms to deal with challenges
Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky

Despite pain, difficulties, and life challenges, people seek methods and procedures for a better survival. Actually, happiness should be a social demand and striving to approach it is a natural human behaviour. Happiness leads to a  constructive and productive life as methods applied are very important and relieving.

21 April 2012

Storytelling as an Instuctional Method

Stories are a natural mode of thinking; they have powerful and effective impact on people. Storytelling is a traditional instructional method that has been recognised for centuries and until today. It is an art or craft of organising and transmitting information, teaching morals and implementing life lessons.

 Mastering the skills of retelling stories is a gift; those skills are manifest through usage of :
  • Facial expressions
  • Gestures
  • Tone and voice
  • Dialogue
  • Repetition
  • Exaggeration
Characteristics of a good story or elements of a well structured story are:
  • A single theme
  • Vivid word pictures
  • A well developed plot
  • Pleasing sounds
  • Dramatic appeal
  • Memorable characters
Classroom Implementations:
Storytelling is a tool adopted, developed and recommended by teachers and educators in order to manage classrooms, engage students and grasp their attention. The strengths of such tool make it :
  • Applicable to all ages and subjects
  • Provide a structure for remembering course material
  • Grasping and engaging students' attention
  • Create interest in subject-matter
  • Familiar and accessible form of sharing information

19 April 2012

Tolerance, Acceptance and Positive attitude

Dealing with students in classroom seems to be a hard mission unless teachers are deeply and fully aware of their role as educators. Teaching students certain academic subjects should not be separated from the sense of duty toward forming and developing their character. Establishing a bridge of interchangeable trust between teachers and students is a main factor for overcoming teaching difficulties. Here are a few tips, I have experienced with my children, and I believe they could be applied in classroom as well.

  • Tolerate your students' mistakes and misbehaving, be firm but do not be cruel, control your reactions, don't punish them while you are angry, and show them a merciful attitude in all situations.  
  • Accept and respect your students and really do love them. Respect their minds and thoughts, encourage them to express their feelings, never critisize the 'person' but the behavior, and let them feel that you accept them for who they are regardless of their academic performance and social rank.
  •  Be positive, fair, encouraging, motivating, optimistic, constructive, understanding, modest, and enlightening in order to lead a fruitful role.

Personally, I find them really effective and approaching. It is important for students to feel secure of extreme consequences, direct criticism, and neglection. As educators you are supposedly reflecting  wisdom and through your actions and reactions, you are eventually guiding your students to make better choices. 

13 April 2012

It is never too late...

It's never too late to... start all over again...

... forgive those who caused you pain...
... forget your hardships...
... recollect your potentials...
... recover your failure...
... proceed your fears...
... redeem your conscience...
... liberate your good deeds...
... reconsider your thoughts...
... think of your actions...
... evaluate your reactions...
... enlighten your minds...
... refreshen your senses...
... search for happiness...
...  own your decisions...

It's never too late to... go ahead...


25 March 2012

Pleasures of Charity

There are many things a person can do in life to approach happiness, a temporary happiness that is limited to the action itself and to its validity. A completely different taste of eternal and everlasting happiness is that a person can   sense and grace when devoting his whole life and actions to charity. It does not mean the action of giving money to the poor , or feeding a hungry person; it rather conceives a more elegant significance. Charity , through its broader sense and conception, means a tolerant smile to a little child , a compassionate hand to an old, an understanding and helpful guidance to a troubled teenager, a cheerful greeting to a neighbour, and so  many other human values are concealed into this aspect. As a matter of fact, it is a whole life style that provides a deep sense of self-relief, satisfaction, modesty and social bonding. Adopting this aspect as a human behaviour reflects a sense of social dignity and revelation to overcome self-centred attitude and ignorance of the other. It is an educational duty to implement such concepts in our daily life with our children and of course in school curriculum.

A question appears to the mind: what is the relation between Charity as a human behaviour  and Emotional Intelligence?

22 March 2012

Is it true?

Three years ago, I was watching a program on a TV channel that covered different educational and family issues.The guest of the program shed the light on misconceptions of  education and the failure of some practitioners of the field to revalue these misconceptions . He discussed the old saying that we are all familiar with; "a teacher is like a candle that consumes itself to enlighten others' way" and he disapproved the whole idea commenting that teacher's role has been culturally and meaningfully misunderstood . The guest, who is a professor of Education, stressed that we no more need  teachers  to be consumed in order to enlighten and guide others , we need them to maintain, develop and  progress their abilities while continuing their active and evolving guidance. I was really grasped by the analysis as it seemed quite appealing. Sometimes we take things for granted,or adopt  certain view points  just because they were claimed by someone in authority ( teacher,parent...), not because we approve them, we truly need to be open-minded.Maybe we should re-overview our educational aspects and concepts trying to be  practical rather than theoretical,and rational rather than emotional, otherwise we  will end consuming ourselves for the sake of just confirming others' beliefs.

17 March 2012

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is a modern concept referred to nowadays as a role factor for success. It is no more acceptable to be intellectually intelligent in order to achieve your goals ; it is rather important to master the emotional mechanism that supports your enquiries and leads your attitude toward  a constructive personality ; so it is all about being "heart smart" not "book smart".
The ability to identify , understand, manage and control your own emotions and feelings and the ability to recognise the emotional state of others make you a brilliant communicative person who interacts securely and effectively with his surrounding.

Emotional Intelligence cannot be learned through the standard academic way , it is rather acquired and learned through emotional interaction by means of sensory, nonverbal,and daily life behaviour.
The first step to such skill , according to many specialists of the field, is the child-parent relationship.
As educators aim to constructing a highly motivated and successful generation , they actually need to go beyond the traditional teaching methods. They eventually represent a role model to their students, so they are deeply committed to reflect an intellectual-emotional- balanced character. Educators must understand the individual differences of their students , read their emotional awareness, and recognise their demand for self-esteem. They also have to realise the ultimate goal of their mission as builders of nations and societies , not  mere transformers of  information . Teaching students how to control anger, how to maintain social relationships, how to realise responses of others, how to overcome hardships, how to actualise nonverbal communicative skills positively, and many other emotional techniques and strategies ; is quite important in order to achieve human and social success.

11 March 2012

The one who overcomes his own self is more brave than the one who conquers a city.
(an Indian proverb)